Camels are the Future

Welcome to the New World 

Technological advancements today have allowed for significant improvements in all aspects of our daily lives. Everyone is touched by the implementation of countless gadgets and technological possessions that have emerged since the turn of the century. To increase efficiency and simplicity, while decreasing the cost and hassle of various separate objects, there should be one solution for the every single person.

It should come as no surprise to anyone that there is literally only one thing with the capability to do all of this: the camel. 

"Inquisitive Camel" by D-Stanley is licensed under CC BY 2.0. To view a copy of this license, click here.

Camels are a Powerful Solution

Camels are animals that have existed alongside humans and utilized for countless centuries. These creatures would be able to meet the strenuous requirements of the modern person. Due to the lack of available spacing and parking in various large cities and schools, it would be in the best interest of all communities to boycott the use of every type of artificially powered vehicle. The effect on air pollution, the ozone destruction, and the cost of maintaining and using these vehicles is far too costly. Instead, people should return to the tradition use of camels, because camels required the least amount of food and water of all of any and all types of animals. Gas stations will be turned into watering troughs, and parking lots will be replaced with natural resources again. These camel-lots will double up as breeding grounds, so it would negate the additional space needed for traditional breeding farms. The use of camels effectively removes any carbon footprint, and over time will create a negative carbon footprint!

"Camels in Amsterdam" by borkur.net is licensed under CC BY 2.0. To view a copy of this license, click here.

Unfortunately, with even the flawless implementation of the camel, it still comes with a minor inconvenience. Even though the use of camels hinders having a backseat, there are now modern options for remedying this situation.  With a simple operation, anyone’s camel can be fitted with a backseat, even up to two backseats for the luxury, family-sized camels.  And although the reduction is fossil fuels benefits the environment, there are flatulence concerns with their own organically released emissions. Thankfully, research has shown that camel's gas production is shown to be 70% less destructive to the environment than all bovine flatulence and vehicles combined. Not only this, but camels require less space than vehicles (two and a half can easily fit in one parking space).

Example of potential "camel-lots" from "China's Common Carrier, Her Substitute For Railways, A Camel Square In Peking, China [1901] Underwood & Co [RESTORED]" by ralphrepo is licensed under CC BY 2.0. To view a copy of this license, click here.

In addition, they can serve for many other uses.  With camel-lots, treadmills can be placed and connected to generators to create natural and community-driven energy production. Camels would be supplied with ample water and food, placed strategically at the end of a stick so that the camels will be kept moving all day for optimum power generation. This not only reduces the need for solar, nuclear, or coal power by 59%, but produces 48% less emissions (even including the flatulence-causing effects of camels). As with any social animal, the congregation of camels in camel-lots helps encourage treadmill use across all areas.

Modern-day Conveniences

The benefits are obvious in the private and education sectors, but do not neglect the fact that camels have many uses in the home as well, but it requires the right amount of camels for the household size. The suggested human to camel ratio is 3:1 in most normal situations.

Among other things, camels can replace sofas, are natural mosquito and elephant repellent, and are self-cleaning if food or crumbs are left on its fur (or in its general vicinity). Many are also not aware that camels can be used as drying towels, because their fur naturally absorbs moisture. Keeping them clean is crucial, and so it is advised to ensure they are adequately washed about once a week.

"Working Camel, Yemen" by Rod Waddington is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0. To view a copy of this license, click here.

By far, their most popular ability is that of being a doorbell. Their medium-pitched moaning is reminiscent of a dying animal's howl. This distinctive sound can easily be heard throughout any sized home. Additionally, they make more efficient guard dogs because instead of biting, they eject fluids from their mouth at extremely high velocity. Many have been known to mislabel this as simple "spit," when in fact this is a highly unsettling mixture of bodily fluids that will deter (or even blind) any would-be assailant.

Protection is not the only benefit for these majestic creatures. In today's high-paced and tech-driven society, camels can also meet the needs of everything for the most interactive smart home. If listening to smart devices is tedious, then consider asking your camel questions instead of Alexa, Siri, or other smart home personalities. Camels don't make a sound because they don't even listen to your question. This is an important quality of life feature in camels that has never been removed. Society is entirely too dependent on instantaneous feedback and camels can help improve human brain activity and release anxiety through this naturally built-in feature.

Adaptability is Crucial

Cohabitation is an important consideration as well. In laboratory tests, their bathroom habits exceeded that of a human male’s by 37%. And thanks to modern genetics, experts believe, in less than a few years, that camels will soon be able to take notations, answer messages, repair home devices, and even get the mail (if physical mail exists by then). 

In fact, technology itself wouldn't exist without the camel. And now that technology is everywhere, the camel has stepped up to keep itself in step with the times. From medical research to nanotechnology, camels are at the forefront of scientific research. As if this wasn't enough, camels have taken it one step further to integrate with artificial intelligence and robotics with their "robot jockey" competitive racing. With 26% of camel-human technology integration already available, just imagine with complete assimilation could offer!

"Camel Drinking Water in the Desert" by alexander_witt is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0. To view a copy of this license, click here.

When a depression or drought happens, the camels can be eaten for food, hooves and teeth can be used as currency, and skin as clothing or blankets.  These somber creatures also can take the place of any household pet because they are great listeners and can reduces a companion's stress levels by 15% or more.  Camels can lower a person’s blood pressure as much as if having three fish and a cat. Because of their body density and low center of gravity, they have been know to be excellent “walls” when playing alone in tennis. 

Be Future ready, today!

From essential to entertaining, it's easy to see why camels are indispensable. They are the ideal animals for practically any and every situation, and could solve nearly every problem in existence today. Don't be like the remaining 4% of people who haven't adopted life with camels... those people are relics of the past and quite frankly nothing more than an utter kamilaphobe.